A quarter of the new year 2008 is coming soon to an end... Just few days ago, I was recalling how I've spent the past one sabbatical year. It was really good although there were times when I still battled against sense of failure, insecurity and fear. Putting my time to good use/cause has always been a way of personal achievement and motivation in life. But something else was much lacking for recent years - my intimacy with God. It is ironic that doing good works was at some point "stealing" away my time with God. I was involved in teaching, praying, missions and many other churchy stuffs. Nonetheless, I was also struggling to keep up in my relationship with the Lord; to set aside quality time to seek His face. I knew then that something was amiss. There's an emptiness within my heart. I wasn't as passionate as I used to be in drawing near to God. I was distracted by many things and all those religious activities were becoming substitutes for God Himself. I was drifting away slowly from His presence... (Wonder if you ever feel that way before as a child of God?)
I felt as if something precious was taken away from me. If you were once close to His presence but now am no longer, you'll feel that same sense of loss too.
Last year, I decided to lay off some personal pursuits and give more time to the Lord. The sabbatical year at home wasn't an easy choice. I didn't feel good not having anything significant to do. The criticism of people around was also something very hard to face with. But the Lord assured me several times that I was doing "right". To rest in Him is of utmost importance than any other things. And God promised to provide my needs. He did faithfully. (I also thank God for a husband who is very supportive and fully convinced of what is most important for me at that point in my life.)
I found myself loving God all over again. Nothing can be compared to the joy of knowing Him as a personal friend. The passion for His reality in my life began to ignite afresh as I spent time in His presence. I reckon it all worthwhile to lay aside all things deem as important just to seek Him. I found back my joy as a child of God!
Dear friends, is God calling you to draw near too? You may not need to go on a sabbatical leave like I did, but God could be simply inviting you to spend more time in His presence daily. To be still and be alone with Him. You can't hear His voice in a noisy atmosphere/lifestyle.
Know that you and I are made to worship. Know that God desires a deeper relationship with each one of us.
Before another quarter of the year begins, let's determine to put off the things that distract us and re-focus our attention to His Word and His voice.
Have a good day!
Blessings,
Especial